Today was one of those busy yet unproductive days. I was not drinking any beer or whatever during the period that I was on the meds. I am now almost a week off them now. It has been a bit odd. I am still very absent minded which is annoying, mainly because I know that it is a meds thing even though I can be forgetful occasionally. So, it is with that as a back-story I can relate some stuff from today.

It seemed to me that I was doing so much "stuff" and yet here I am at home at half nine in the evening and I feel like the day was completely unproductive. I visited the bank to find out how bad things were money wise and yes, it's sort of grim. I guess that is what can happen when there's nothing much coming in at the moment. It's been a tough year.

I was stopped on campus today by some exchange students that wanted to know about the college "tour". I invisibly winced when I imagined them getting hurried about being told about stuff that doesn't matter. That's the middle age cynicism kicking in there. I gave them a brief rundown of what was good to know and where the main bits - library etc. were. They were all from across Europe; a Belgian woman, a German woman and a chap from Hungary. I filled them in on a few details but raised a few laughs too and sort of felt glad that I managed to do that.

I know what that means though and it may seem auto-fulfilling but usually when I start to get happy(ish) it means that the black dog of depression is not far away. This is the hardest part of being bipolar. I hope that when I get to sleep that I dream well or not at all, sleep well and hopefully wake up with a slightly more positive outlook. I read on one of those tear-off calenders that has a saying or such at the bottom of the slip of paper, "Making a start is half the job done!" - that's why for me positive starts can make my week, month or whatever.