Day #43 - You have GOT to be kidding me!!!

When I was a kid I was very much a science head. I loved all things technical. I was lucky because my parents recognised this early on and they were both quite encouraging. They also bought me stuff that helped with my experiments. There was a down side, and this is not to blame them in any way, but they didn't have that much technical knowhow in the area that fascinated me - electronics. I was very keen to advance but I didn't know what I wanted to do. Maybe it was an intellectual lacking on my part but I wasn't sure how to go about "juicing it up" or even know that, that was what I should have been doing. My Dad worked in civil aviation and travelled quite a lot, he also worked shifts so when he was at home he was either sleeping or about to go to work. My Mother had NO technical knowledge AT ALL and still shudders at the thought of anything technical getting in her way. I have inherited these aspects of her character to some extent and my approach has always been a bit different from most folks. When I was very little my Dad went to Japan for some work related stuff and when he came back he brought home a battery operated robot. This was a really cool toy - it walked and would stop from time to time and raise it's RAY GUN - utter some sound that was "robot" for "stick 'em up!" or something and then fire a powerful blast of energy at it's target. I was fascinated by this robot and played with it constantly. It needed two large "U2" batteries. I fairly went through the batteries as "Zed" (as I called my robot) was "on patrol" a lot of the time. One day the power ran out and I decided that I needed to "fix" Zed. I earnestly began "emergency repairs". Some time later I realised that I had to put Zed back together because I "could not find the problem". I guess that it is the "rosy rear view" or "hindsight is 20/20" but whatever it was I had killed Zed in my efforts to "re-energise" him. THEN my Dad woke up...

It must have been an expensive present but it was also quite unique. I didn't know of anyone that had a robot like mine and my Dad was understandably miffed when he discovered what it was that I did. I couldn't put old Zed back together either. I didn't mean to kill Zed - it just was something that happened. The remains were thrown out and my Dad was annoyed for weeks. I remember hearing about what I did to that robot for years afterwards - well into my teens - usually recounted to friends of my parents by my Dad. I don't know if he was trying to get an endorsement of his anger or whatever, but I do remember that he didn't forget it.

The upshot was though, that I learned a valuable lesson. I was far more careful after that. I also got my first Lego outfit sometime after. My Mother recognised that I liked to construct/deconstruct and Lego suited that perfectly. I would recommend Lego to any parent. It is no wonder that it is the most popular toy for boys in the world. I'd like to see it gain that level of status with girls too. It is great.

Today I met and had a brief chat with one of my college lecturers from way back when I started. I described to him the amount of work that I had to do and what was involved. I explained that after having looked at the sheer volume of it all that I was a bit apprehensive about getting it all done properly. THAT is what I wanted to do was do it properly. I have weighed it all up and even though I might have made some kind of stab at it all I think that in all likelyhood getting five poor grades would have pulled my already respectable aggregate down to "pass" territory. IF I was lucky I might have got a third but that would have been it. The thing about programming is that you have to be doing it a lot not just a little. You cannot just dip your toe in occasionally and hope for the best. It requires consistency. It is with that in mind that I have elected to just submit my philosophy material so that I can approach all of my IT stuff with a clear head in the autumn. I have spent quite some time weighing all of this up and I am pretty sure that I am doing the right thing. The lecturer that I spoke to seems to think so. I also worry that by biting off way too much I might get unwell with anxiety should things not go according to plan. I am reminded of  thing that was said to me waay back by a good friend that ran a studio in London. The funny thing is that I have heard this back from other people since that have claimed that it happened to them - such is the power of a good story. Anyway, I was speaking to this chap many years ago and was telling him that I had to do this, that and the other thing and then I had a bundle more stuff to do. My friend said; "Trigger, life is like Marmite - you spread yourself too thin - you lose all your flavour!". I have always remembered what my friend said and have tried to keep it in mind. One of the things about bipolar disorder is that whole "being all things to all people" thing. It isn't  really  a good idea. I am going to work just as hard but adopt a more focused approach. Better to one or two things well that a half-dozen things in a mediocre fashion. Though some is better than none I'd sooner make a decent sandwich than a rubbish four course meal. There's no satisfaction in the latter.

I have decided that during the coming weekend I am going to try to streamline "the plan" and hopefully come up with a more worthwhile strategy. No point in going off half-cocked.