Day #61 - Helpful people are a nuisance

I expect that it is possible that upon first reading (or in some cases second or more) the phrase "helpful people are a nuisance" might elicit a quite negative response to the premise. How could it be that helpful people are a nuisance? Surely such people are good and kind. I do not believe this but it was not always the case. When I first encountered this maxim I was in my early twenties. I was of the firm belief that helpful people were great and it was a good thing to have them around. It was when I reflected on the thing and thought about it I realised that it was not the case. The premise was reinforced when it was presented to me with the additional clause; "better to be available than helpful". This statement has stayed with me for over twenty years and I hold a strong belief in it. If one were to consider it then it is easy to see how helpful people or a helpful person could be a nuisance. A helpful person can be as much of a hindrance than anything else whereas if someone is available then you can rest assured in the knowledge that should you require help then it will not be too far way hopefully. Some folks can actually delude themselves into thinking that by performing action "X" they are being of assistance in some way. When I was a kid I remember being surprised by the way that some of the other kids just littered their rubbish about as a matter of course. When they were finished with a crisp packet of a sweet wrapper they would just casually discard it and carry on without skipping a beat. After a while I felt comfortable enough to ask why they did that and the reply was; "sure, aren't I keeping someone in a job!" This to me was an admission of a most severe kind of ignorance. The rationale behind the totally uncivilised act of littering was justified with an explanation alluding to some kind of strange yet virtuous act of civic duty. I was really amazed by it. The "fact" that here, by littering they were creating employment. The  argument was almost universal and largely unanswerable in practical terms. It was something that I just could not understand.

Of course there are situations where helpful people are most welcome. In an emergency situation, rescuers are most welcome. Even when a child or someone elderly or infirm needs help then one should not hesitate if it is pretty obvious that the help is needed. Sometimes there are situations where the person that needs help may not be in a position to request it. It is then that we must present ourselves declaring our availability and willingness to assist and, if necessary, get in there and help. The phrase about the nuisance is when the helpful person just blunders in, foisting their "help" upon another. There is a phrase that can be found in many areas of human activity but is quite common in some branches of the services and that is that "assumptions get people killed". THAT is a very true statement indeed. There are cases  of people "greasing the wheels" to "help" a job along only to be surprised that things didn't work out according to plan. This is when the "plan" is based largely on assumptions.

In my life there are some really nice people that have been friends of the family for many years. Unfortunately to some of these folks, I am not part of my own family it seems. I meet some of these folks on a near daily basis and it strikes me as a bit sad that they harbour some kind of grudge and yet have to smile through gritted teeth maintaining a veneer of sincerity. They may even be indulging in "doublethink" when meeting me. I think that maybe they should get closer to their true feelings AND if there is a genuine problem then address it. Now, you may well be asking yourself; "What on earth has this got to do with helpful people and their predisposition towards being a nuisance?" Well, on the face of it, not a great deal, but there is one element that is a worthwhile connection in my estimation. That, by not being helpful when it is pretty obvious that a small amount of help would not only be useful but also be beneficial or even "counterdetrimental" to strike a bipartite neologism. That would be to heed the fact that the person that may need help is not in a position to ask for it. They could offer that help but it is more useful to them furthering their own aims to avoid doing such a thing lest they be morally obliged to assist. The act of neglecting to help is actually a positive thing to some of these people. That by not helping then the way is clear for further untoward events to occur and this suits these folks perfectly. The same kind of thinking that lies behind the obtuseness of those that "create employment by littering". Often when confronted by a moral arbiter that calls such obtuseness into question the defending utterance is; "Why should I?". Well, my response to that is "Why not?" or "Surely it is about doing the right thing". Some folks feel though that by helping another they are lessening their own chances of doing well. These folks are lobsters that hide behind their own grandiose self righteousness. I do hope that they don't ever need anyone to be of any help to them should they require it but they probably think that they never will need help from anyone, and THAT, is a truly foolish assumption. There are times when we all need help in one form or another. It is most reassuring to know that help will be available. It is depressing to even consider that it may not be. A truly hopeless - and helpless - situation.  G'nite.